Tuesday, July 9, 2013

spit it out aka verbal diarrhea

okay. Let's rest for a while. My three little pigs & antipodean entry should be up later.
I feel like spilling what I have been experiencing lately.
There were times that I want to spit them in facebook but I made a promise with myself saying that I shouldn't post status containing negative words to affect people's day. :)
Came across an article about how you should talk and help others. forgot some of the points but I remember the main one
They said, what you said should contain elements below:
1st, helpful
2nd, informative
3rd, motivative
4th, I add this myself. -.- entertaining.

I might be that naive people who believe everything would be alright/ sometime people tend to think that I'm escaping the truth. But I really always believe that everything would turn out good. If it doesn't, it's ok, I will take it as a lesson and move on. Why are you making your life so difficult by worrying about things you couldn't change anymore? and I believe in The Secret, you have to believe that the thing will happen in order to make it happen. I pray too because James 4:2 stated that you do not have what you want because you do not ask God for it.

I'm done with the introduction.

1st, about my recovery from break up.
From time to time, small little details remind me of him. I miss talking nonsense with him. I miss disturbing him with gymnastic frog. -.- I kept telling myself that it's good that we are separated so that both of us can grow better. Yes, I used to be really sad but I don't show it publicly because I want to face this break up like an adult. okay. I cried during Cher's concert but after that I told myself that I shouldn't do so anymore. It's rude to cry in the public because that will affect others' emotion. I used to hate him because I don't know how to handle it. I used to blame all of the things on him. And now, I should learn to let go. 

p/s: sometime I fantasize myself as Blair and him as Chuck. One day, we will be back together no matter how bad we treated each other. *slap myself* I have to stop being so naive and dreamy. and I got a few friends to stop me from thinking about it. :) so what am I thinking again? I'm recovering.

okay, maybe I'm just used to be in a relationship that there is always someone there. Alright, time to adapt before I really meet the one. Hopefully I can find a job soon. Right now, I'm making myself busy by preparing for JLPT/defer paper, cleaning my room, reading novels, shopping and finding job.

Dream man criteria:
1st, able to tolerate my yinsanity. I talk to non-living thing like gymnastic frog and alien. I talk to my dogs. I talk to Vivian, my car. Basically, I talk a lot. but I don't talk that much to human. maybe I'm just afraid of hurting their feelings or bothering them by verbal diarrhea. and remember the talking tips above. I'm trying to learn talking that way. I talked to my mom and she facepalm-ed. It seems like noone understand my pun in talking to non living things. okay, I talk to myself too. I find it good to self check whether you're in good condition.

2nd, no smoking. Nothing much to explain about this.

3rd, no ah beng English or type like a lala.
I'm not saying that my English is very good but sometime you will meet people who type like this: 'what you do..............I SAd..... lu BOjio......' okay. It's exaggerated version. -.- oh. I'm not impressed when people said bojio. How if poeple didn't feel like inviting you? *awkward*okay, I think too much. maybe it's just a social cliche. Sometime I'm just too serious in matter like this. If I were them, I would say, next time call me pls!
p/s: maybe my attitude like this makes me doesn't have a lot of friends to hang out. -.-

4th, can help me improving myself.
I don't really mind that he scold me for my misbehave. okay, maybe he should talk in a proper manner, he can scold me if I didn't change after some time -.-

5th, maturity
I need a man! a man who knows how to bear responsibility and not escape from it, a man who knows what to do at critical time, a man who work hard for our future.

6th, appearance
not too thin. not too fat. double eyelid with thick eyebrow.

7th, Interest
They said that it's not necessary that a couple should have same interest. but I think that couple should have one similar interest. I wish that my future man is interested in hiking/jogging.
That's all. I'm improving myself too so that I can meet my dream man. -.-

p/s: I dreamt of my future husband. I couldn't see his face but he was wearing spec. The best thing is, he made a diamond silver ring himself and gave it to me after I gave birth to a son. awwwwwwwwwwww. I told my mom about this. She said, maybe he is the owner of a goldsmith. -.-

2nd, about my job
Still thinking whether to step out of my comfort zone and join Zara/uniqlo for manager-in-training programme.
My comfort zone is becoming medical lab technician. I have the knowledge and the experience in working in medical lab. I roughly know that what's going on in the lab. After some time, I can pursue my master degree and PhD to become a lecturer. That's all.
However, changing a new field is like learning everything from zero.
I should try for manager-in-training.That's why you need to type out your problem to find your stand. -.-
Sometime you don't need opinions from others. You know what you should do, just that you're afraid to change, afraid to improve, afraid to learn all the necessary thing to be success and afraid to witness the success.

p/s: There was this time that I refuse to voice my own opinion/typing out my own thoughts. but now this is my blog, I type whatever I like and not that I'm spreading negative thoughts also. I want to ensure its authenticity by becoming myself and motivating myself in becoming an adult who can handle herself in a proper way.

Phrase of the day: Be positive. Smile more. Both of them are contagious.

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