Tuesday, March 31, 2009

bad day

死了都要爱
不淋漓尽致不痛快
感情多深只有这样才足够表白
死了都要爱
不哭到微笑不痛快
宇宙毁灭
心还在
把每天当成是末日来相爱
一分一秒都美到泪水掉下来
不理会别人是看好或看坏
只要你勇敢跟我来
爱不用刻意安排
凭感觉去亲吻相拥就会很愉快
享受现在
别一开怀就怕受伤害
许多奇迹我们相信才会存在

heard this song in a tv show,attracted by the lyrics instead of the melody.
This song reminds me lots of things and brings me into deep thinking state,
especially the last line.
miracles only exist if we believe.
so if you want miracles from God,
you first have to believe His existance.
If you want miracles to be happened in your life,
you have to believe that you can create the miracles.

specially dedicate this song to chiam chiam.
hmm,I think you'll get what I mean gua.
since you're the one understand me the most.

today,
I was late for assembly,
wrote my name in the book,
broke two test tube,
ruin my salt specimen,
no food left in canteen,
went to la salle canteen and the teachers are there,
so I ate my lunch at 3.30pm.
almost gastric.
kinda bad luck today right?
but luckily chiam chiam fetched me back,
thought he won't able to make it
because i'm unlucky today.
and started to think that i might miss bus today also.
hah.at least i'm not that bad luck today.

talk about the test tubes,
1st,when I kacau the solution with glass rod,the salt like doesn't want to be dissolved.
so,I tok tok tok trying to make the salt smaller.
and....
the test tube pecah.
2nd,
I was washing the test tubes,
and the teacher was talking,so i turned my head to listen.
and I dropped the test tube.
Then when i was heating the salt specimen,
there's a spider on my lab coat near my breast,
and i tried to blow the stupid spider away.
The fire of the bunsen burner get off,
and my lime water is sucked back and ruin the salt specimen.
luckily the teacher allowed me to take another packet of salt to redo.
Actually, think again,it's still not a really bad day right.
at least my hand was not corroded by the concentrated sulphuric acid.

phrase of the day:study.study.study.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

actually

actually,I don't know why I'm here.
I'm supposed to do my mathematics exercise,biology notes and chemistry revision.
I'm supposed to memorise a biology essay per day,do notes for 1 small topic for chemistry,do 3 mathematics question for every chapters and think of the agenda for the PBC meeting tomorrow.
and read more english articles because my MUET exam is coming soon.I need to learn some "chim" english to make my essay more interesting.
but why am I here ?

-.-.fine,I can feel the guilt in me now.
k,I'll leave the pc alone and do my work.
(excessive work makes me talk to myself more often but I think it's a good way to memorise something.)
p.s:I WANT STPM OVER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE LAH.
p.p.s:I need chicken essence but I don't dare to drink it.
p.p.p.s:why almost everyone is posting about sundram's memorising cell?hmmm.shall talk bout this if I'm here again.let me explain some bio facts to you in hilarious way.I won't make you bored.don't worry.(because huey huey said that i hv the potential to become comedian.but amin said we both hv the potential.)
p.p.p.p.s:I think I don't wanna stop blogging because I LOVE TO TALK.I HV SO MANY THINGS TO TALK LA.I know,I'm chi chap.

Phrase of the day:no matter how hard the life is,I want it to be filled with laughters.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

awww.

haha


the happy xian is back.


after I typed the emo post yesterday,


I read the bible.


I don't read my bible according to the chapters.


I simply flip a page.


and i know,


God 'll show me the right page to show me the way.


and He did it on me again.


it's not a solution,


but still it makes me feel so warm and comforted.



here goes the phrase:
Come to me,all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads,and i'll give you rest.Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me,because I am gentleand humble in spirit;and you 'll find rest.For the yoke I will give you is easy and the load I will put on you is light. Matthew 12:18

I know I'm such a bad people who only seek for God's help when I'm in trouble.
but,
still everytime He gave me some guidances.
He's such a sweetheart right?

anyway,
problem is not solved yet.
but i know He'll show me the right way.
I think this's the only support I have.
I don't feel like bothering others as everyone has their own problem.
don't wanna bother them further with my problem.

Phrase of the day:I try to control my tears and it chokes.So i cried sekali gus until I have no tears anymore.well,heart still aching.but I know,still academic performance is the first priority.You wanna cry?study your bio,chem,PA and do your math first.then you wanna cry until the whole klang flooded,I don't care.(recently talked alone more)

Am I too stressed?

I have a bad holiday.
what I expected doesn't happen
and it's getting worse.
yeah,I did my homework.so?
I don't feel the satisfaction.
yeah,I did practised the piano.so?
at least it makes me feel slightly better.
yeah,I did some housework.so?
it doesn't make me feel exhausted so that i can relax my mind.
I really hope STPM 'll be over soon.
I can't take the pain,not that I can't study,i can.
just that I don't feel the something.
the something I don't know how to describe.
the only thing I know is,
I'm hiding my emotion.
and i'm gonna have depression one day.
and I might CS one day.
I did read the bible.
and
I cried.
why?
I did pray
and I cried again.
why?
If I know the reason,i'll save the energy to solve the problem instead.
anyway,
life has to go on,
it'll never stop because you're sad or what.
it'll never stop and pat your head
it'll never stop and let you settle down.
finally,i know it's the reality,
reality that seems so fake and yet so true.
grow up,yin xian.

phrase of the day:I'm really hurt by my parents and him.promise me,be strong,don't cry because of something.don't cry over small matter,and everything is small matter. to remind myself of this phrase. :)

Sunday, March 1, 2009

i miss you.

er.
i miss my blog badly.
As i was busy with sports day,merentas desa,then fell sick,then monthly test,then now,slightly free lah
but i have to start preparing for my mid term exam because I AIM FOR 3A.nope.I hope for the best,4A lah~(cheh,like very easy to get 4 A...whatever.)
Anyway,3A is the minimum requirement to get the sijil cemerlang from the school and for two years,no upper sixes got it.SO,i hope i can break the record by getting that sijil.Amen.
and so do chiam chiam,i hope he'll not playing with his sozai(his pet in PS) so often loh.
and to all my upper six mates,
DON'T ONLINE SO OFTEN LAH.STUDY.
you have to be responsible for your future.
now i know why form 6 train us to be more mature.
It's because of the workload.
I have to settle my homeworks which stack up like gunung kinabalu,then revise as the syllabus is so long like sungai renjang,then settle the co curricular activities by attending the meeting and prepare the activities,then SLEEP(no sleep=die=no me),then got this lah,that lah,
SO,conclusion,a upper six must able to plan well and organise the time.
SO~WE 'RE TRAINED TO BE A GROWN UP.
(don't depend so much on the teachers.They have their own stuff to busy with)
SO~
i gonna hibernate for few months.
if you miss me,
go to school and meet me lah~hahahahaha
since you have to take your SPM cert also wat!(for the ex schoolmate)
since you go to school also wat!(for the upper six mates)
and to cherylyn,good luck for your competition.(i'm shy to say it in front of you......didn't know that i'm shy)
i try to make it on that day har~
phrase of the day:today is so-so day because I so~ a lot.(i think i mix up the meaning of so-so)whatever~