Saturday, February 16, 2008

the shio kim jua season

I'm fed up with shio-ing kim jua almost every single day of CNY.
"shio kim jua" means burning silver paper for prayer in chinese culture.

SHIT!I forgot all the point.I was thinking of posting about this idiotic culture while i was burning the silver paper for the birthday of the "deizhu" (the goddess of the earth.there're five of them and they're like children.therefore they love sweet.Their birthday are every tenth of the first five months in the chinese calendar.)
Wonder how i know all these stuff although I already accepted Jesus?

I love to read all these Goddess stuff although I think they're bullshit.I don't believe them but I think they're interesting.I even thought of studying Anthropology but i gave up at last due to the money matters and popularity.and history is a must for this course.

I'm a 100% chinese where i talk mandarin,think in mandarin,write mandarin,read mandarin,listen mandarin song.but I mix with banana more to the 100% chinese.I have no idea.Anyway,my boyfriend must be a 100% chinese because I don't wanna argue in broken english.I can't think fast in english and my vocabulary is not rich enough.ignore this!

Things become worse when my parents are taoist.(should be polytheistic,as they worship a few god.)They believe in fengshui and fortune-telling.One day,my cousin became a christian(JW actually) where they don't donate blood,don't celebrate christmas and do not get married with non-JW believer.From that incident,my parents told me not to join this "stuff".From that moment,I knew it's hard to tell them.the only things i can do is pray.

From a story I got from a teacher,
pn.X is a christian but her mom is a buddhist.when her mom died,she was told to do in buddhist style.She did.Know what happen?she saw a smile in her mom's face.she died in a peaceful way because it's the way she likes.

If they're happy with these rituals, i must well let them be happy right?They're my parents.
I should let them happy.If they don't like,I'll not force them.but still i pray that their christian
friends 'll share the gospel with them.You know lah,things can be discussed easily among friends.

so i'm christian but my parents are not.and now i can't go church because sunday is my family day.even saturday too. I still finding excuses to go for youth.My dad once warned me actually.I told him that i'm going for youth organised by church with Aisha .I emphasised on the "youth" .My dad hesitated a while and asked me not to join their prayer.To make him feel better,I lied again.

"nolah,they play games one and they'll sing song only.Just go there to meet more friends ma."i said in very pleasant tone.I'm dramatic as khadi said.

but it ended up.the youth is cancelled.hahaha.I thought, God might be thinking that I'm not prepared yet.never mind.

the second time.It was one year later i think.Aisha asked me again to join the GC youth.I lied again.(God ,forgive me.)

"daddy,I wanna go for a conference in the church at chi liung."I said.I thought of this sentence(excuse maybe)very long.ok?
"what conferrence?"
"teach us how to save money one(but actually his daughter still spend a lot)"i think I said this.I can't remember my lie .I'm not a good liar.A good liar must remember his story so that he'll not be revealed.
"then how you go?lunch provided?how much is the fee?"I know la,no need to be worried.I'm not going to somewhere dangerous.I'm not going out at night too.
and it ended up well.I gained a lot from this youth.I cried.I laughed.and the people are nice.

but later i didn't go any youth already.because i'm going to KL almost every saturday plus aisha is working too.I know lah,those're excuses.but I don't dare to go alone without aisha.When aisha can go,I'm in KL.

but this saturday, I should be able to make it.Aisha,this time concert right?really!they're having concert.i'm not lying this time.just that i haven't asked my parents.hehe.i love asking permission last minute.As it's last minute,it would be easier to get the permission.

I have no idea why I jump into these stories.I write what my mind tells me.

anyway,I don't like these rituals.They polluted the air,wasted the food and make more tress being chopped.

I used to love shio-ing kin jua when i was a kid.can burn things ma.of course a small cute and adorable kid like me 'll love burning things.

last but not least,I would like to apologize if I have offended anyone.(I don't think so lo.i tried to use better words but my vocabulary has a limit.)

1 comment:

ayesha said...

It's alright to know all those stuff-in fact, it's better that you know so that you can tell the difference between what is real (God) and what is not (idols).

Just pray that God will help you to discern (mengadili) what is right and holy from what is wrong.

Next time when you can come to church already you don't have to attend the English service, you can go for the Chinese one!!!